Here’s a list of some mostly practical things I’ve learned about navigating life before and right after you give birth to your first baby.

1.      There are options for strength, preparation, and recovery during pregnancy and after birth

You don’t have to live with incontinence after birth. Lower back pain during pregnancy isn’t unavoidable. You can prepare your body for pregnancy, for birth, and for an easier recovery afterwards.

I’m so grateful I was pointed towards Dr. Tanya at Refine PT in Orange City. She offers an OB package that helps you prepare your body (and subsequently your mind) for birth, and she offers so many options to help you recover after birth. As women we tend to normalize or even joke about bodily changes that come with pregnancy that tend to be uncomfortable or even embarrassing. No more! Don’t live with discomfort. Fix it.

With her OB package I was able to prepare myself to more comfortably carry Corrie in the last few months, avoid backpain, and, while I wasn’t able to have a natural birth, her services helped my c-section healing process and she helped me learn how to build up my strength again properly after birth.

This is taken directly from her website:

Wondering if you are a good fit for my services? Here’s a list of services I offer and diagnoses I see:

• Prenatal musculoskeletal pain (ie: hip, back, neck, rib, SI joint, pubic symphysis)

• Sciatica during pregnancy or beyond

• Labor and Delivery preparation (think shorter L&D, less pain, decreased tearing)

• Prenatal and postpartum exercise programs that are individually tailored to you, your body, and your fitness level.

• Postpartum consults – I recommend an appointment 1-2 weeks postpartum and again after 6 weeks postpartum. I think these should be an essential part of every woman’s care!

• Treatment of mild to moderate pelvic organ prolapse

• Treatment of pelvic pain

• Treatment of stress, urge, or mixed incontinence

• Treatment of back pain, hip pain, rib pain, or other pain associated with core weakness

• Treatment of pelvic floor dysfunction

• Treatment of diastasis rectus abdominis (abdominal muscle separation)

• Specific exercise program for return to exercise or running postpartum

2.      Taking a sleep course before/right after birth is a lifesaver

You’ll be really tired. Like really, really tired. Think about your days in college where you would stay up late studying, then have to make it to an 8am class on time. Take that amount of tired and multiply it by 10,000 and you’ll be close.

Even if your baby is an awesome sleeper, newborns eat around the clock, and that takes time. I don’t know how to prepare anyone for this except to say I hope you like coffee. And I think you should invest in a sleeping course.

Maybe you have or will have a naturally awesome sleeper. I am genuinely happy for you! We did not. Not even a little bit. In her defense she had reflux which we didn’t know, so waking up every 40 minutes (yes, 40 MINUTES) was the norm for the first 10 weeks of her life. Talk about a fog. Literally couldn’t see my hand in front of my face.

Once we got that sorted, we did a healthy sleep foundations course and it was a LIFESAVER. Corrie was sleeping through the night by 3 months. (Which is around 12 weeks – meaning she only took about 2 weeks to go from waking every 40 minutes to sleeping through the night. The course was magic.)

(We invested in the combo pack – the newborn course and the navigating months 5&6 package.)

3.      Communication with your spouse is harder when you’re tired

This is a big one. Grace is needed. Lots of it. Slather that grace over every crevice of your house and pray it over your spouse daily. Being tired is hard. I don’t care if you’re breastfeeding, pumping, or formula feeding – that new baby needs to eat every other second when they’re born and it takes time and it takes from your sleep and it honestly just about steals your sanity. You don’t want to be at odds with your other half during this time.

It’s hard. It’s so, so hard. Trust me, we went through it. But it’s so very vital to have grace and remember that your spouse is likely also sleep deprived, stressed, and adjusting to this very new normal. Try to take some time to sit down and discuss expectations, boundaries, and frustrations. Don’t do the blame game, but be realistic on what you need and hear your spouse on what they need. This made all the difference for us.

I mean, we had to have this conversation every other day for a while. But having open communication can save some unnecessary heartache during this already-tough season. Especially if you have a terrible little sleeper.

4.      You don’t have to wash the bottle or your pump every time you use it

This was a big one for me. When Corrie was first born I was washing bottles and pump parts what felt like every other minute. It was all-consuming and added to an already full plate of having a newborn and trying to figure out my new routine/life/body/exclusively pumping.

But guess what! You can reuse your bottles. You can reuse your pump parts. This has saved me SO. MUCH. TIME. I hope it helps you, too.

5.      You don’t actually need that many outfits

I was very zealous about buying clothing before Corrie got here. Newsflash: they grow like a weed and tend to just wear jammies or comfy clothes (read: Covid). You don’t need three church dresses, jeans, and a cute fuzzy vest for a newborn.

If you want to, go for it. I’m just saying, they grow fast and I ended up not even using a lot of what I bought. Sorry, husband. Let’s have another girl?

Better yet, buy used clothes if you can. Babies don’t wear out their clothing and buying secondhand is almost as good as buying new, but with a MUCH smaller price tag. If you’re local to Sioux County, Rock Valley has some awesome secondhand stores. If you’re looking to purchase online, check out ThredUp. If you’ve never shopped ThredUp before, this link will get you $20 off.

6.      You don’t need to be on birth control

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but did you know you don’t have to be on birth control to be in control of your fertility?

There is a natural, holistic way to track your cycles and know when you are or aren’t fertile. It’s called the Creighton Model FertilityCare System, and we learned it through Ashwood Fertility Care Center (I say “we” because my husband and I definitely learned it together and use it together).

I’m not an expert so I’m not going to go too in-depth on it, but this method helped us figure out why I wasn’t able to stay pregnant and it played a huge role in helping us get and stay pregnant and blessed us with Corrie. Not only that, but I never plan on being on birth control again. There are so many negative side effects to birth control, and since I was on it for YEARS before we found this method I have no doubt it contributed to our loss and some of my hormone issues.

This method lets you take control of your fertility, it teaches you that your body is made beautifully, and your fertility is part of that beauty. Seriously, after our first session Paul and I looked at each other and said, Why has no one told me this before?

Ladies, your body is beautiful. This method was such an eye-opener and honestly helped bring Paul and I together during a very tough time in our lives.

If you’d like more information on this, feel free to contact Kari Beadner or follow her on Insta. She’s awesome.

7.      You don’t need all the fancy gadgets

I did the research. I investigated all the fancy, latest, greatest techy things you can buy for your baby. I opted out of them. I know Googling what you need for baby will bring up lists and lists of so many things the Internet says you need. But you really, really don’t.

If you’re into it, great. Just know watching your baby sleep on a monitor when you’re ten feet away isn’t really necessary. Stick with the basics. This is a good way to reduce your stress level, too. More stuff = more stress. Less stuff = more time to focus on what matters.

8.   There are so many options. Just do your best

Nobody prepared me for the endless options. Of everything. Baby food, clothes, bibs, diapers, wipes, butt creams, lotions, soaps, gadgets, towels, toys... It’s overwhelming.

Talk with friends or loved ones who are the kind of parents you aspire to be, see what they use, what they don’t recommend. Do some research. It’ll take some trial and error, but again, have some grace. If you pick the wrong kind of lotion the first time around, you can switch. It’ll be ok.

While this is just a taste of what I’ve learned about parenting in the last 7+ months from all the amazing women and mommas I’m surrounded with, I hope it’s helpful to you! Motherhood is hard. It’s a beautiful, messy, all-consuming role that completely turns your life upside down in the most wonderful way. Having help trying to figure out which way is up is absolutely necessary.